I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
