I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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