You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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