y did u give ur computer a hand job?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
love makes seman taste better
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I didn't notice because vodka
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
