she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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