I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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