I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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