Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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