she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
