none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
