Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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