Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
