Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
