Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
