Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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