Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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