dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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