we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
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my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
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I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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