im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
