her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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