can u get pink eye on your cock?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
