i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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