I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
