its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
