Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
