I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
