Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
