My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
