I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
