if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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