Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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