i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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