His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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