people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
