it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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