No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
