Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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