so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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