Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
