I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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