3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize