dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize