all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
