I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize