I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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