He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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