"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
