I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize