I can text with my tongue
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
