Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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