Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My hand turned me down
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
don't judge my taste in strippers
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
