And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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