I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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