Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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