I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
