I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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