Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
