How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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